Dark Etymology: A Rant

There’s something profoundly unsettling about the way the term “solution” is thrown about willy nilly in today’s pop culture. As in, “Howdy folks, here’s a solution for a need that you didn’t even know you had. Enjoy!” Whenever I hear about some newfangled app promising the ultimate solution to the vexing problem we have with, say, finding a great burrito in the city at 3am, I can’t help thinking that some cynical nihilist in the marketing department has been taking a cue from Nazi Germany, those master rhetoricians who win the prize for the most creatively perverse and darkly euphemistic employment of the term: die Endlösung.


Well, you can keep your jargon, thank you very much. Those insidious, immoral crack-like solutions, which merely addict and rot the psyche…that slow, drawn out death…zombie apocalypse indeed.

Is life possible sans solutions? Can you visualize it? I imagine it would be one that’s lived as if life is not merely something to get over with, if only to get the satisfaction of ticking off that final box on our to-do list.

4 thoughts on “Dark Etymology: A Rant

  1. M. Orrell says:

    Oh, you…

    My doctor recently told me that I have to cut out most of the salt in my diet. With no small amount of menacing mirth she described to me her saline solution. I dunno…

  2. John Guzlowski says:

    Love the Zombie Apocalypse image.

  3. parmanifesto says:

    “Most faithful reader”? When was this title decided? My faithfulness may not be punctual, but it is faithful.

    If there were was a Zombie Apocalypse (in the cinematic definition of the phrase) then it would be the death of our dependence on reason and individuality! Zombification is a solution for the Enlightenment!

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